Fans of Twitch streamer Matt ‘Dellor’ Vaughn have been left concerned for his wellbeing, following a worrying post he made after his Twitch ban.
Dellor was banned from the platform on October 1 during an Apex Legends broadcast, the reason being cited as “self-harm” after he smashed a keyboard on his head, destroying it and ripping it in two.
The ban came as a surprise, as this isn’t the first time Dellor has destroyed keyboards, even becoming a common trope of his streams, and the suspension came on the same day that he was due to have his sub button back after six months of waiting.
banned indefinitely for "self harm" for breaking a keyboard on stream. I bought these keyboards specifically because of how cheap and fragile they are. I've broken hundreds of them and have never even scratched myself. Here's an image of my face a few minutes after. not a scratch pic.twitter.com/lM2hgPv1D2
— dellor (@dellorlol) October 1, 2019
However, later in the day on October 1, Dellor posted a concerning Twitlonger in which he details his mental health issues and shares his love for his community.
The TwitLonger in full reads:
“I am broken. I have been depressed for months. I did everything I could to change. I stayed loyal to twitch. the day I’m supposed to get subs back they ban me for something I’ve done thousands of times. my contact in twitch says he can’t do anything for me.
The mental torture I’ve gone through the last few months is too much. I love you all for what you’ve blessed me with but I don’t want to continue living in this world anymore.
I hope you all remember the fun times and laughs we had.”
i am broken. i have been depressed for months. i did everything i could to change. i stayed loyal to twitch. (cont) https://t.co/ZdNJ3j0n9C
— dellor (@dellorlol) October 1, 2019
Many of Dellor’s fellow streamers responded, worried about his safety. Ryan ‘Fwiz’ Wyatt, head of gaming at YouTube, also reached out to possibly discussing helping with his situation and career.
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I know we don't know each other, but DM me if you want to chat, I'm here to help! There are people that care about you, so please reach out to talk to someone. Let's talk and see if there's something we can do to get you back on track with your career, and life!
— Ryan Wyatt (@Fwiz) October 1, 2019
Former Twitch streamer Tyler ‘Ninja’ Blevins also suggested that dellor leave the platform to join him on Mixer, Microsoft’s rival streaming site.
Warm Welcome waiting over here 🙂 pic.twitter.com/y7YxItzHT4
— Ninja (@Ninja) October 1, 2019
Other streamers also reached out, supporting dellor following his concerning series of Tweets.
Homie you’re literally a legendPls don’t do that :heart:️:heart:️:heart:️we all love you so much
— Sym (@Symfuhny) October 1, 2019
Bro please don’t.. you’ve made me and countless others lives better through your stream. You are loved by so many. Please call the NSPL pic.twitter.com/mrhBQi0GJu
— Donald THump (@THump) October 1, 2019
Since the initial post, there have been a number of updates in Dellor’s Discord server from his moderators.
According to these moderators, Dellor is “at the hospital but is doing fine and will be ok. He’ll be back soon”. This information cannot be verified at this time.
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If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, or know anyone that is, and you would like to talk to someone, please reach out and call the Suicide Prevention Helpline 1-800-273-8255 (USA) or the Samaritans 116-123 (UK).
