It’s probably just as well Sony is wrapping up their Spidey spinoff series – Kraven the Hunter is the hilariously underwhelming funeral we all knew was coming.
That said, there will probably be fewer memes this time around. The script is too dire to illicit any gems like, “He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.” But don’t you worry! There’s plenty of stuff to laugh at.
Emphasis on at there, not with. I should feel worse about pilfering Sony’s Marvel series from the jump, but it’s just made itself too easy a target. Alongside Madame Web kicking off 2024, who could forget the daft dalliance of Vemon: The Last Dance and the immortal Morbius? Kraven’s done well in holding its own counterculture, frankly.
You might as well think of my review as an episode of Punk’d or Candid Camera. I’m presenting the very best fails they’d definitely win money for if they submitted tapes to TV execs. It’s all a far cry from Taylor-Johnson’s devasting turn in Nosferatu, also releasing this month. Get yourself a man who can do both, as they say.
What is Kraven the Hunter about?
Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 game introduced Sergei Kravinoff, a.k.a Kraven the Hunter, as a villain. But the new movie is essentially acting as an origin story. Taylor-Johnson’s version is at odds with his dad Nikolai (Russell Crowe) after truths about his dead mother come to light.
On a hunting trip in Ghana, Sergei is almost killed by a lion but is saved by an elixir from the mysterious Calypso (Ariana DeBose). As the animal’s blood mixes with his, a new legend is born. Years later, Kraven spends his life eliminating men who are too much like his dad.
But when his brother Dmitri (Fred Hechinger) becomes a target, Kraven will do whatever it takes to get him back from the clutches of the Rhino (Alessandro Nivola).
Who knew nearly dying could be so funny?
Let’s assume most people buying tickets for this film have no idea about any existing Marvel lore, let alone Sony-adjacent stuff. If this is the case, punters are in for the most baffling experience of the year. There’s a lot to unpack; the basic storyline is painfully spelled out in the opening scenes and also relies on absurd coincidences that need you to suspend all belief to buy.
There’s a lot of continuity errors too. A spear randomly acquired out of nowhere here, ADR voiceover that doesn’t match up to a moving mouth there. When Kraven does make sense, it’s displayed with all the brevity of an SNL sketch. Taylor-Johnson might be fully invested in his Marvel cheque (ahem, his very meaningful and well-constructed role, of course) but it’s hard to trust his faith when the wider picture is such a shambles.
Still, at least it’s entertaining in its delivery. And when I say entertaining, I mean pee-in-your-pants laughing. Clearly, Russell Crowe has been playing multiple priests to pray away the memories of his turn as Russian mafioso Nikolai. I love the man, I truly do, but he ain’t selling this at all. There is no way that telling your sons their mother is dead should be a laugh-a-minute moment, but Crowe manages it.
Hechinger hangs in there as the best of a bad bunch, while DeBose is likely considering a new agent after being stuck in bad picture after bad picture (the woman won an Oscar for God’s sake!). Nivola’s Rhino perhaps takes the biscuit, resembling something a five-year-old might draw after reading the comics.
Subscribe to our newsletter for the latest updates on Esports, Gaming and more.
His backstory (it initially seems like he had a similar life-threatening accident on the same safari trip, just with a rhino) is as preposterous as the action. A particular standout is his non-verbal response to finding out Kraven is still alive, which is akin to an ostrich having its foot stepped on.
Maybe Marvel is playing us at its own game. By this point, the Sony contingent has surely figured out that it’s beyond the bottom barrel of superhero content – so if you’re going to make the people laugh, play the clown. It worked – I couldn’t believe how much fun I had with such a huge misfire.
Kraven leaves a lot to be desired
Alas, none of us can be insanely funny all the time, and such is true for Kraven the Hunter. As the superhero movie hits its final third, the pace slows into something more mundane. Suddenly, we’re hoping the Rhino wallops us before it’s too late.
There’s a part of me that imagines when Taylor-Johnson closed his eyes, his Kraven was Richard III at Shakespeare’s Globe Theater. It’s the Michael Caine in A Muppets Christmas Carol school of acting, and by God is he going to commit to the bit. Trouble is, this all becomes a bit stale when you’ve not got any accidental humor to act as an epidural – and as we know, sincerity cannot save a Sony spinoff.
I’ve skipped over some of the more predictable misses in the two-hour-plus runtime, like sloppy visual effects and a strange ’90s tinge to its take on the supernatural (think Buffy and the 1994 version of The Lion King). But you were all expecting those, weren’t you? Essentially, let’s consider the bare bones as DOA.
Remember, this is criticism from a non-Marvel cinephile. I imagine anyone hardwired into the franchise is going to rain down on this even further, echoing the feeling Sony should only focus on Spider-Man. Will they remember it on the other side of Christmas? I’m voting no.
Kraven the Hunter review score: 2/5 – Below Average
Honestly, this is a higher score than it should get, but I just had such a good time watching Kraven the Hunter (I actually feel slightly giddy writing this). It’s almost vaudevillian, from the henchmen who could double as Phil Mitchell for no apparent reason (please YouTube him, my US pals) to a prison roommate who could genuinely win Best Supporting Actor if we were only voting on Sony movies.
It’s fun! It’s camp! I sort of want to see it again! For someone who had low expectations going in, this is the best outcome I could have hoped for. Thank you, Marvel, for my unexpected pre-Christmas bundle of laughs.
Kraven the Hunter hits cinemas on December 13. In the meantime, check out everything we know about Spider-Man 4, as well as the latest updates on Marvel’s Phase 6, The Fantastic Four, and Thunderbolts*. For more information on how we score TV shows and movies, check out our scoring guidelines here.
